Codependent: I do Love Too Much! When Our Self-Love, Self-Esteem and Self-Compassion Are Not Important, Narcissism and Codependency Become Toxic Relationships, Anxiety, and Emotional Abuse by Melody Melwood

Author:Melody Melwood [Melwood, Melody]
Language: eng
Format: azw3, epub
Publisher: Investing in Yourself l.t.d.
Published: 2020-09-24T00:00:00+00:00

•​ Beautiful people who will make them understand how ugly they are by contrast.

Last but not least, if when we are children nobody presses us and insists on the polarity Beautiful-Ugly, this polarity will not be part of our life except in an impromptu and irrelevant way. That is, we will interpret that for our family the fact of being beautiful or ugly is irrelevant and will also be unimportant and unworthy of our attention. We simply will not consider it important to be beautiful or ugly, and we will not understand precisely why others dedicate so many resources to keep themselves beautiful, perhaps, even spending large sums of money as well as a lot of energy.

Based on the same principle, we will not understand why it is a problem for some to be ugly and we will care less about not understanding it.

Eventually, as teenagers or as adults we will have to give importance to beauty for professional reasons. For example, we can be hired as models and we will have to pay close attention to our appearance if we want to preserve our salary, but also in that case, beauty will not be part of our deeper identity, it will be a way to earn our living, or as a gift of nature that if lost, it will not put the identity of ourselves in crisis.

When we are still children, this is how our identity is formed. It is formed around polarities that some important people will tell us are important.

In some families, the polarities will just be a few but also very extreme, in others, they will be more varied and less extreme.

In any case, those who decide the importance will be the ones who are important for our survival, normally, our parents and then elder siblings, but any significant person we identify as part of our clan will be able to discuss what is important or not.

Once we understand the important things for them, or the outstanding polarities for them, we will never be able to ignore them again and we will soon be forced to position ourselves very clearly. Once we are lined up, our identity will be born, and it will be ready to accompany us for the rest of our lives without caring if it has made us codependent, narcissistic, beautiful, ugly, healthy or sick.

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